This will be the last blog post from the first trimester of our pregnancy! Even though radio stations are starting to use Christmas music to usher in Halloween nowadays (hark, the herald jack-o-lantern sings…), I’ve got at least two good reasons to be especially in the Christmas mood this year – abandoning my beloved NPR to listen to holiday music practically nonstop. (OK, I’ll admit that part of the reason that my radio dial is in another place is that I’m also totally sick of politics.)
Anyway, the song “Merry Christmas, Darling” has always struck me as a pleasant, but not necessarily great song – even though Karen Carpenter had a voice like butter, and until this year the song brought to mind our troops separated from their families over the holidays. (If you’re in the military, thank you for your service!) But this year, I can’t help but think of our twins when I hear Karen’s inimitably dulcet tones crooning,
“Merry Christmas, darling
We’re apart, that’s true
But I can dream
And in my dreams
I’m Christmasing with you”
It’s stupid to miss someone that I haven’t even met yet, I realize, but the primary focus of my life and my husband’s life has been on our children for the past three months. (Don’t tell our bosses.) I don’t mean in an overly-indulgent or helicopter parenting kind of way – or at least I hope I don’t, despite what our pediatrician might think.
My husband and I went to a group prenatal consultation that our pediatrician holds every other month for expectant parents. It’s a great way to meet and get to know the doctor who will have your children’s lives in her/his hand. And I certainly got to know the other parents in the room as well, at least from my snarky and occasionally judgmental point of view. There was a couple, for example, that asked several questions about the necessity of vaccinations. (Apparently Internet access and Google qualified them to debate some points.) Another woman tried to get more definitive guidance on what constituted an emergency since, in her mind as a first-time parent, everything was likely to be an emergency. #overprotective #neurotic As I sat there thinking bitchy thoughts about the other parents, the doctor asked me to go through my questions: “You’re the only one with your iPad out, so I know you must have a list of things to go through.” So maybe I was being a little hypocritically judgmental. My husband, who knows me far better than I’m comfortable with, only smirked knowingly beside me. Did I mention that everyone else’s babies were due in February, and that ours aren’t due until June?
Since I try to include some objective information in each blog post, here’s a brief update. We’re at 12w1d based on our obstetrician’s ultrasounds (9w5d post frozen embryo transfer). Our gestational surrogate is completely off her progesterone injections (hallelujah, for her sake!), and we’re in the process of getting first trimester screening done. That screening process can potentially detect major birth defects like Trisomy-18 and Trisomy-21 (Down’s Syndrome), and involves three separate tests (two chronologically separated lab draws and one ultrasound) that apparently take a number of weeks to complete and interpret. All tests are non-invasive to the embryos, and therefore perfectly safe. With a young egg donor, we’re hopefully at low risk for any indications – fingers crossed.
I’d post a picture of our Christmas tree, but I’d be a little embarrassed because my husband and I aren’t designer gays and our surrogate’s tree is exquisitely perfect (i.e., Saks Fifth Avenue flagship store window worthy). So I’ll wrap by simply saying that I wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year too, my darling children. I’ve just one wish on this Christmas Eve: I wish I were with you. We’ll be together next year!